Tag Archives: Step daughter

Hello, my name is “THAT (S)MOM”…

Soooo here we are on day two of the first week of school! YAY! I must admit although I have dreamt about this for a couple years (to avoid daycare costs and 24/7 entertaining SD), it is a bit odd. I mean I know I didn’t birth her (praise cheesus to that), but it is still a little mind-blowing that SD is in real life school, not some BS 3 hour VPK nonsense.

A kindergartener?! REALLY?! Am I that old!? Shit. 

Anyhoo, there has been a trending convo that my other mom (& mostly my baffled non mom) friends in the past couple weeks: being THAT MOM. I am first to admit that I am OCD, need a paper trail for most communication or agreements, and have my calendar filled in through December. I think you all know a “THAT MOM”, in fact you do…MEEEEEE :)  We are the ones who made gifts for the kids and teacher on their first day, the ones that make peanut butter banana sushi in lunches, the PTA pushing, overly involved ladies! I think that the evolution of Pinterest and how easily anyone can access crafty awesomeness on blogs has a LOT to do with the outrageous things us moms and smoms are doing with our “free time”. But seriously, what kid doesn’t want pb nanner sushi in their lunch!? I sure as hell would! I had these gems ready to go for the first day over a week ago:

Obvi I didn’t hand out an empty vase! Flowers were added the night before. DUH.

The truth is I am an ass kissing-overachiever by nature and I LOVE giving gifts. Ok, and I don’t mind out doing people either LOL! I had my volunteer app turned in June. Outfits are picked out for SD for the next 3 weeks (mind you we are on every other day visitation so it’s not THAT much to have together). I had a letter for our teacher in hand on orientation to explain our parenting plan and the bonkers amount of travel that SD would be encountering on our days (45 min, 33 mile trip one way) because I am concerned it may get crazy and I wanted her to be in the loop. And last night I already wrote another note asking how I could help and explaining that there would be clothing back and forth daily in her bag. A bit much? Maybe…but I like to cover my ass and be prepared.

This fall is my LAST full semester at USF, and I have 15 credit hours (3 courses on campus and 2 online). I’d say about mid September my head will spin trying to keep up with kindergarten happenings, my school work, a potential job and keeping this house in order-stay tuned for that doozie of a post! Hence, I am prepared before shit hits the fan. I have Labor Day vacay planned, Halloween mapped out-costume and all, visitation break downs through December, Thanksgiving in NYC set to book this weekend, Christmas Eve dinner reservations set (BTW I only had to call 35 times to get through to WDW dining… But Be Our Guest Restaurant  looks SO worth it), and lots of other ridiculous shit handled…but it is HANDLED and everyone who is being  judgey can kiss my ass :)

I’ll check back in after my first experience in the “car rider line”  on Friday. I’m sure I will get yelled at or nearly truck a kid with the X5. Wh0ops!

-Manda-

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Mud Runs, Real Ryders & Bad Kids…

Alrighty, so it has been an eventful few weeks and I have been back to my psycho gym and diet routine! YAY!! PS I <3 adipex, judge me lol!! So here is the low down as of late:

On top of attempting to be Ms. Fitness of the YMCA I managed to survive the “Prison Break Mud Run” in Tampa last weekend. It was a little over 4 miles of mud, sweat, air guns being shot at you, swimming, running, jumping, & climbing stuff that I may or may not have whined my way through…but I made it damn it! Truth be told my anxiety was through the roof prior to being nailed in the ass by one of those air guns, but then I realized I wasn’t dying and kept truckin’ lol. I’m not a runner, and this course had a lot of that so I was dragging ass. I anticipated more obstacle like stuff to break it up but no such luck. At the end of the day, I had fun and burned about 700 calories all before noon on a Saturday. Obviously that rendered 7-10 Skinny Girl Margs & Pina Coladas. DUH. I def recommend the pina over the marg!

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So while still on my adipex high I agreed to also try out spinning at my man BFF’s new studio: www.ON1cycle.com It. Kicked. My. Ass. This is not a typical YMCA class with weird background music and crappy bikes in a tiny room-it is super legit. Reid got the best stuff on the market and put them in a studio that most retail stores can’t compare with. The logo is perfect, the music is BA, music videos are streaming on the flat screens and the bikes…are nuts! ON1 Cycle has a fleet of Real Ryder bikes that kick your ass. They actually lean side to side and work your abs like you wouldn’t believe. I was spent after the 45 minute class this morning…and my lady parts are a a little angry that I didn’t have more cushion, but my jacked glutes, hammies & quads out weigh the pain :)

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Me, Reid & Sara post getting “ON1”

So that was all good shit, right?! Well it wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t throw in a rant somehow, so here we go. Today I picked up SD, who I was told by BM had a rough morning prior to going to summer camp at her elementary school. Nothing I’m not used to here, obviously. Well I go to the computer to log her out and I get flagged to go see the lady that runs the show…SUPER! Turns out SD popped off and wouldn’t follow directions during a safety procedure. She got written up! I got the usual “I don’t know” when I asked what happened, followed by the crocodile tears. Silent 40 minute car ride home. Took away the beloved LeapPad & TV per BD and she doesn’t seem to give a shit! Letting BD handle the “talk” when he gets home. I’ll be pouring vodka and watching the show :) Maybe I am over reacting, or I expect too much but dear baby cheesus…I made it from K to HS graduation without ONE DAMN WRITE UP. She is not even technically in kindergarten yet lol. AY YI YI.

Thats all I’ve got for now! Check back in after the Keys next weekend. DRINK UP BETCHES!

-Manda-

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Blahhhhhhhh!

I know what you’re thinking…tell us how you really feel lady, jeeze! Haha. Truth is I am SO BLAHHHH lately it is redonk. Let’s get the bitching out of the way first:

  • My summer school schedule sucks and I would rather pluck out my eyelashes one by one than learn more about spanish and the judicial process…oh and death and dying which is an “at your pace” online class that I have yet to start!
  • Life with SD is unlovely (yes, I just made that up) as usual. The sky is the limit with her tudes and lack of respect. Pretty positive she hasn’t watched TV in 2 weeks. WHOOPS! And to top it off I now have to drive 66 miles round trip to get her to summer camp at her new school. YAY
  • The lack of motivation I have to do anything besides crack open a bottle of vino lately is utterly embarrassing lol. Seriously, I barely make it to the gym twice a week. I have gone down to only vacuuming once a week… GASP! SN: in this heat (already in the 90s) with 2 shedding dogs it is gross. SHAMEFUL I tell you! My dinners are boring. I have fallen off the calorie counting wagon. And the last time we walked the dogs is prob a hot 14 days ago or so.  I don’t even complete my OCD to-do lists anymore. I think I am dying lol.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!?!

 So, in other (positive) random news…Hubs and I found a fabulous new hotel we stayed in last weekend for a night. Hilton Bonnett Creek Orlando-great rates, awesome pool and all around beautiful property. It’s on Disney property & Disney makes me happy lol. Let me not forget to add that the lobby bar has an outstanding Hendricks cucumber tini! It may be hot as shit outside but that equals tan bods, and vitamin D makes you (me) happy! Booked our fourth of July trip to Key West (& hubs bday). I’m doing my first “mud run” next weekend, which should be REAL interesting considering my lack of physical activity lately. Got tickets to Jason Aldean/Luke Bryan and plan on having an epic tailgate come August 10th. SD is doing a lock-in at our YMCA this Saturday…annnnnd “Parents Night Out” Friday-YATZEE. $32 well spent there folks. Headed to a food festival this weekend as well, snagged $5 tickets on living social. I learned that if you spray lemon furniture polish on your glass shower doors and let it sit for 15 min or so it just wipes it all away (are these really the things that excite me now?)-thank you Pinterest. Anything Pioneer Woman has turned out amazeballs. I am slowly but surely cutting down our monthly bills.  Annnnnd last but not least I have not killed anyone-YET. Muahahahaha :)

So there you have it, I guess it isn’t SO bad in the life of this hot mess. HA! Til next time betches…

-Manda-

I want to be like these fools! (Lola & Bob-O)

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Shit my SD says

Yep, the 5 yr old sure says some doozies! I will update as more random and possibly inappropriate crap flies out of her mouth…feel free to add your own kids (or mine) words as a comment!

  • “Amanda, here is a bell…I will ring it when I need you”
  • “When will I get boobies? My Nana’s boobies are long will they look like those?” Sorry NJ, she said it not me!
  • “What’s a wiener?!”
  • “Can I get you a beard?” Note beard=beer and she will ask at all hours of the day haha. here’s my sign?
  • “Are you paying with my Daddy’s money? Because you don’t have a job” This was at the counter at Juicy…sure was Daddy’s money dear ;)
  • “Red solo poop, I feel you poop…let’s have a poooooopppppy! Proceed to poopy!”
  • “Amanda you are never ever gonna have babies if you keep taking your no baby medicine!”
  • “We don’t ever go anywhere fun except Disney, Unibersal, the beach…” umm really?!
REALLY LATE UPDATE (all from 4/21 randomly at the Rat’s house (CEC)):
  • “It’s Justin Beiber that attacts me”
  • One time I showered with Nana and she was naked and it looked like freckles and old stuff”
  • SD: “When can I get a tattoo?” BD: “Never, I’ll be mad at you” SD: “Well you won’t know cause I’ll be in New Nork, you know that!” uhhhhh what?! lol.

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