Monthly Archives: March 2012

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Free wine & roofing conventions…

Heyo! I’m currently sitting at my room service table in Carlsbad, CA. Jealous?! Should be, my huevos rancheros just cost me $35 and who knows what this Heineken costs from the mini bar lol. VACATIONNNNNN!

So last night was the first night of the roofing conference. Let’s just say I was “watering down” my lemonade at Disneyland yesterday and shit hasnt stopped since. Husband put himself to bed shortly after the filet & prawns. I didnt want to turn in, obviously so I stayed at “casino night” with the father in law. Lets just say shit got REAL. Tears, funerals & the word “cunty” were present. I have held onto some pretty shitty feelings towards my no show funeral inlaws for a while. Yep, NOT ONE of them came to my baby brother’s funeral-except my mom in law. But of course I am expected to attend every lame ass birthday party, holiday or bullshit dinner I get pitty invited to. Im over it. Soooooo yeah, that was put on the table only for no resolution. I may have woken up in my dress, but I still know what the shit went on. Typical.

So for now, this is my theme song. The mens are golfing, I guess I should hit the gym. Toodles betches :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drn52CwqPJM&feature=related

-Manda

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I’m 28 & on Spring Break Bitchesssss!

Yep, that’s real life.

Last week was my birthday. Yippee. I’m another year closer to necessary botox, ash hair color and a boob lift?! haha. Was a great day: went to Luke Bryan at the Strawberry Festival with like 12 of my favorite people. Snuck in about 25 mini bottles in our BOOTS (dry activity=snoozefest). Did you know you can fit like 4 in each boot? Fun fact for ya. Got shmammered, but didn’t vom or lose anything! Lookie there kids, I’m growing up lol! Oh and FB decided that I was only turning 27, so for that I thank you Mark Zuckerberg (may want to check your apps and their calculations though buddy).

The one of maybe a handful of perks of being on the 10 year plan in college is just that. SPRING BREAK! Husband and I are headed to California for 6 days, hitting up LA, Carlsbad & San Diego. He will be attending a roofing conference and I will be working on my tan and killing my liver poolside at the Park Aviara Hyatt! Sounds like a freaking deal to me!

Back to this “10 year plan” bs.  Let’s clear the air, I attended 2002-2003ish at USF while I was an all-girl cheerleader for them, then took say a 5 year? hiatus from school and did this thing called REAL LIFE. I lived solo, had my own car, paid for everything by my GD self :) Lots of crazy shit went down in that time period, and I made more money than most of you will your first years out of school. I moonlighted as an executive administrative assistant to a commercial real estate brokerage, bartended at local bars, coached nationally ranked all star cheer & dance teams. Most of the time all at once.  So, no…I don’t have sympathy for those of you still camping out at mom & dad’s or not handling your own shit after say about age 22 even though I started that at 19 lol. Started back at community college due to the cost of the lovely home of the Bulls and went part time around 2009. Finished up my AA in Fall this year (because I owed USF cash still, of course) and now I’m on my home stretch to graduate with a BA in Political Science in December of this year if all goes well.

No school. No work. No kid. No dogs. NOTHING to be responsible for except keeping my Tervis filled with the good stuff. Hell I may even kick it like I’m 19 again and drink in the shower (Panama City Beach circa 2002 or 3?!). 

I’ll check back in with who knows what kind of randomness later this week. 5:15am flight outta this beast in the morning :)

-Manda

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Carnie Rant

Happy Hump Day Bitches! 

For those of you that aren’t from my hood, the Florida Strawberry Festival is going on right now. We don’t play around when it comes to berries! You can get strawberry shortcake, strawberry cookies, strawberry lemonade, strawberry sweet tea, strawberry shakes, strawberry funnel cakes…the list goes on. Plus every delicious & disgusting fried or “on a stick” creation you can imagine. So there are the usual games, rides, a parade, concerts (LUKE BRYAN tomorrow on MY BIRTHDAY eeeek), animal shows, and PAGEANTS! Of course we have a Strawberry Queen, duh. Girls starve themselves for that coveted title haha! We rode the “Bear Affair” (really with that name?!), The Super Fun Slide & some himalaya gimic-maybe called the Flying Bobs?! Hell I don’t know. I also got sucked into the ping pong fish game and boy was I wrong when I thought SD wouldn’t sink one. Now we have a fish named “Strawberry Bum Bum“- you think the carnies inspired her name?! hahahaha. SD had a corndog and strawberry lemonade. All for the low price of $50. YEE HAW :)

And with all that comes…CARNIES! These mofos are beyond annoying. Yes, I get it-it’s your job to talk shit and try and take my money. But really…when I have a damn 5 yr old tagging along can you refrain from “damn look at THAT ass” or “hey sexy mama this ones on me…let her play” GROSS. One even guessed my damn name which blew SD’s mind so she tried to keep talking to the one toothed wonder. What makes them think it is ok to act/look/talk like that? I live pretty damn close to carnie central, aka Gibsonton FL so you would think I’d be used to it. Not the case. I still want to hand out toothbrushes, hand sani and GED pamphlets.

That’s my adventure for the day…now to write this midterm. BOO

-Manda

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The Steel Trap

Yeah I said it. When it comes to certain things my freaking mind is like a steel trap. Normally it is pertaining to shit that isn’t necessarily super important…like song lyrics from 1989, Britney Spears dances, my first tap routine, how to count to 10 in Japanese, etc. But there is one thing that comes in handy ever so often…I have a effing card catalog in my head of shit people agreed to. Plans, legal documents, response times, things owed to me-it’s all there. I file every email away. Invitations are on my cork board. I have excel sheets for bills. I know how much cash I spent at the bar no matter how blacked out I get. My gmail calendar is pushed to my phone & I have a hand written calendar on top of that. I function off of extreme to-do lists. I AM ON IT. Now, is it OCD? Probably so, but the OCD has brought so much order to things in my life for the past few years that are so DISORDERLY. So fair warning if you are going to quote me, check your facts and check the paper trail because I can promise you I have it :)

Happy Sunday Bitches…I’m off to shop my ass off in this nasty SoFla weather!

Manda

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Should we go back to snail mail?!

Ok. I’m impatient, I admitted that in my bio but holy shit there is something that drives me BONKERS.

LACK OF TIMELY EMAIL RESPONSE.

Be it family, professors, businesses or whoever the hell I have spent time writing detailed emails to I swear to Cheesus* I only know like 2 people as prompt as I am with returning emails! I’d say 80% of all the people I write to have smartphones…with push capabilities so what the hell is the issue? Is your time more valuable than mine? Is it that hard to acknowledge it and reply in short? I’m confused. Here is when it gets even better…

I SEE YOU ON FB, WWF, Pinterest or any other GD social network tip tapping away from-you guessed it-your mobile device!

That makes me want to punch babies. Financial offices and family seem to be the repeat offenders. I mean, I get it we are all SOOOOOO busy in our awesome jet setting lives that hitting reply is entirely too much but JEEZ!  Simple replies are accepted people: yes, ok thanks, got it!, I will have to check let me get back to you, etc. ALL WORK JUST FINE. Whew, had to get that out there. Now don’t read this and ignore my ass for shits & gigs ;)

Manda

*Cheesus: referencing my dear B. Spears lord and savior Chester the Cheeto Cat since I don’t believe in MAGIC (get it now?!) hahaha. 

That's mah girl!

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