Heyo! I’m currently sitting at my room service table in Carlsbad, CA. Jealous?! Should be, my huevos rancheros just cost me $35 and who knows what this Heineken costs from the mini bar lol. VACATIONNNNNN!
So last night was the first night of the roofing conference. Let’s just say I was “watering down” my lemonade at Disneyland yesterday and shit hasnt stopped since. Husband put himself to bed shortly after the filet & prawns. I didnt want to turn in, obviously so I stayed at “casino night” with the father in law. Lets just say shit got REAL. Tears, funerals & the word “cunty” were present. I have held onto some pretty shitty feelings towards my no show funeral inlaws for a while. Yep, NOT ONE of them came to my baby brother’s funeral-except my mom in law. But of course I am expected to attend every lame ass birthday party, holiday or bullshit dinner I get pitty invited to. Im over it. Soooooo yeah, that was put on the table only for no resolution. I may have woken up in my dress, but I still know what the shit went on. Typical.
So for now, this is my theme song. The mens are golfing, I guess I should hit the gym. Toodles betches :)
Happy Hump Day Bitches!
For those of you that aren’t from my hood, the Florida Strawberry Festival is going on right now. We don’t play around when it comes to berries! You can get strawberry shortcake, strawberry cookies, strawberry lemonade, strawberry sweet tea, strawberry shakes, strawberry funnel cakes…the list goes on. Plus every delicious &
disgusting fried or “on a stick” creation you can imagine. So there are the usual games, rides, a parade, concerts (LUKE BRYAN tomorrow on MY BIRTHDAY eeeek), animal shows, and PAGEANTS! Of course we have a Strawberry Queen, duh. Girls starve themselves for that coveted title haha! We rode the “Bear Affair” (really with that name?!), The Super Fun Slide & some himalaya gimic-maybe called the Flying Bobs?! Hell I don’t know. I also got sucked into the ping pong fish game and boy was I wrong when I thought SD wouldn’t sink one. Now we have a fish named “Strawberry Bum Bum“- you think the carnies inspired her name?! hahahaha. SD had a corndog and strawberry lemonade. All for the low price of $50. YEE HAW :)
And with all that comes…CARNIES! These mofos are beyond annoying. Yes, I get it-it’s your job to talk shit and try and take my money. But really…when I have a damn 5 yr old tagging along can you refrain from “damn look at THAT ass” or “hey sexy mama this ones on me…let her play” GROSS. One even guessed my damn name which blew SD’s mind so she tried to keep talking to the one toothed wonder. What makes them think it is ok to act/look/talk like that? I live pretty damn close to carnie central, aka Gibsonton FL so you would think I’d be used to it. Not the case. I still want to hand out toothbrushes, hand sani and GED pamphlets.
That’s my adventure for the day…now to write this midterm. BOO
Yeah I said it. When it comes to certain things my freaking mind is like a steel trap. Normally it is pertaining to shit that isn’t necessarily super important…like song lyrics from 1989, Britney Spears dances, my first tap routine, how to count to 10 in Japanese, etc. But there is one thing that comes in handy ever so often…I have a effing card catalog in my head of shit people agreed to. Plans, legal documents, response times, things owed to me-it’s all there. I file every email away. Invitations are on my cork board. I have excel sheets for bills. I know how much cash I spent at the bar no matter how blacked out I get. My gmail calendar is pushed to my phone & I have a hand written calendar on top of that. I function off of extreme to-do lists. I AM ON IT. Now, is it OCD? Probably so, but the OCD has brought so much order to things in my life for the past few years that are so DISORDERLY. So fair warning if you are going to quote me, check your facts and check the paper trail because I can promise you I have it :)
Happy Sunday Bitches…I’m off to shop my ass off in this nasty SoFla weather!